Only on Zoom

Can I start by saying I am using Zoom in the generic sense to save me listing all video communication systems or that will be the blog post.

This blog post was inspired by a comment that we don't get to see ourselves as others do unless we are on Zoom.

When we meet face to face we see each other. When we talk on the phone or communicate in message format we don't see each other at all. When we look at ourselves in the mirror or in photos we see a still image not a moving one unless you are in a dance class or similar and then there are other things going on. In videos we are moving but we see something that is past from the viewpoint of the person behind the camera.

Zoom is live and we are usually focused. We are often alone in the room connecting with others who are alone wherever they are too. The Zooms I have been part of can last a fair amount of time (not a complaint). When I am speaking I try not to focus on anyone too much and I look at myself a fair bit. Not because I am vain but because I want to see how others see me. Am I annoying? (jury's out) Am I fidgeting and distracting? (yes sometimes) Can I be seen?(mostly) Do I look ok? What is their impression of me? (not my place to say) What is their view of where I am? (what is in shot?). If I see reactions I might not be honest in what I am saying or I might be tempted to cut it short or get sidetracked (I do anyway and I can waffle). Although sometimes I do want to see the reactions and I realise now that I can't always tell who is and who isn't looking at me (just like life really).

Zoom is the nearest I will get to seeing myself from outside my own skin. After a lot of nerves about it, I am calming down a bit, which is just as well, as it is here to stay.

Copyright © 2021 Lily Lawson